Gloomy me.

Just one examination left. They do finish in a blink of an eye, but the days before you step into that examination hall drag on forever. My next examination is on Friday, but it still feels so far away. After every single exam, my brain just feels exceedingly drained and exhausted, as if it just got wrung and bound tight then released into a greyish mass of lumps. I don’t remember them being so mentally draining before, or perhaps I just grew too old for them.

A few days ago I watched this Greys Anatomy episode, the very last one before the Christmas break. Almost all other serials are being put on hiatus because of the holidays, and it is infuriating because they leave us all with cliffhangers. At least for The Walking Dead, the little girl was found, albeit a walker.

Anyway, the GA episode is one of my favorite so far, and I have watched all seven seasons before this. The episode begins with a monologue in Meredith’s voice, as always, dictating how we always complain about bad days, solo happenings that sour an otherwise perfect day or simply a series of minor unfortunate events. Yet as the episode unfolds, these nitty gritty annoyances become blessings in face of a personal crisis, that leaves us praying for the day we may be afflicted by them again. Crises like a loving husband dying on the surgery table, a friend’s death indirectly caused by your own hands, a wife going missing after an accident in a thunderstorm, and people leaving before we can say our heartfelt goodbyes, before we are ready to send them along. It was a little numbing, as the episode came to an end, but a nice melancholic numbing that left a tinge of shame on the grumpy thoughts I harbored all day, all week, all month, all semester.



Perhaps exams aren’t such a biggie after all. In the face of bigger things that have happened, I would most definitely prefer this option of mindless torture than any other. Yet, they still leave me gloomy, in a gloomy dress, with a gloomy nose, on a gloomy night, thinking gloomy thoughts, being just very gloomy.


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